Can we change those stubborn parts of our personality that seem like they’re here to stay? Absolutely, and the first big step is understanding ourselves better. Our personalities are like invisible guides shaping how we think, feel, and act. By getting to know ourselves at a very basic level, we can separate the not-so-great stuff from the more sensible and less problematic parts. “Why You Do That” by John B. Evans, Ph.D., serves as a compass for self-discovery. This book contains a wealth of knowledge about how people think and behave and provides a path to self-knowledge, self-reflection, self-awareness, and the self-control that occurs so naturally with an increase in self-awareness. This study of personalities by Dr. John Evans acts as a guide for us as we try to comprehend both ourselves and those around us. Get your copy on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CN52988M.
Personality traits stick around for life, but the severity of issues can change over time. Many individuals notice their symptoms fading as the years go by. Even though our childhood personalities set the stage for who we become as adults, there’s a ton of evidence showing that personalities can shift at any age. Life experiences, like work, friendships, or marriage, have the power to stir things up. Good experiences, like supportive families or solid relationships, can bring out the best in us, making our personalities shine. On the flip side, rough patches, especially in abusive relationships, can lead to negative changes. Over time, impulsive or aggressive behaviors might mellow out, while shyness could stick around and even get stronger.
Some people are more open to change than others, but everyone’s personality is a work in progress and it is self-knowledge and self-awareness that offer us the greatest control over who we choose to be in life.
For those of us seeing positive changes, it’s crucial to realize that there might still be some negative habits hanging on. That’s where an even greater self-awareness can help. Recognizing those lingering negative traits and gaining control over them is key. Understanding our past, especially our childhood, helps make sense of why we act the way we do, but real self-awareness only kicks in when we recognize and understand our basic nature. Becoming more self-aware means taking our personality off autopilot. The most stable period for those who don’t actively try to change their behavior might hit around age 50, but everyone’s journey is different. While we aren’t responsible for creating our personalities, it is up to us to work on our personality now and in the future.
Getting to know ourselves and trying to change might sound a bit scary. It’s like taking a journey into uncharted territory. But self-awareness helps us tackle those tricky behaviors that seem to pop up for no reason. Many of us have a mix of personality styles, creating patterns that might not make sense at first. It’s like a puzzle with pieces from different sources. Figuring it out takes knowledgeable self-observations over time, and the inevitable increase in self-awareness allows us to choose who we want to be. Identifying our specific thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, and reading about different personality types can shed light on traits we might not have noticed. It’s like discovering hidden parts of ourselves. This deeper understanding becomes a powerful tool for making intentional purposeful changes in our life.
Even with all this self-knowledge, we’ll still goof up sometimes. Human behavior is too complex to master completely. Trying to be perfect might just trade one flawed personality for another. So, it’s okay to stumble and be a complete doofus every now and then.
And when it comes to spotting personality issues in kids or teens, it’s not always easy. Their struggles can seem pretty normal for their age. If there are concerns, it’s smart to reach out to professionals who specialize in working with young minds.
In essence, the journey of personality change is like exploring new terrain within ourselves. It’s about understanding who we are, recognizing our quirks, and making intentional choices about the person we want to become. It might seem daunting, but the power to change lies within us, waiting to be uncovered. Read “Why You Do That,” by John B. Evans, PhD, to get started! You may contact Dr. Evans through his website: logcabincounseling.com