Imagine being in a committed relationship with a charming, charismatic partner who suddenly transforms into someone who is cold, uncaring, and manipulative. Sounds frightening, right? This Jekyll and Hyde scenario is one of the hallmarks of having an antisocial personality, which includes the sociopath and psychopath. While the initial attraction might be undeniable, the reality of this complex and alluring personality disorder has the potential to lead to an abusive relationship that can cross all limits. Those in relationships with antisocials often describe a partner who initially exuded an excess of self-confidence and charm. This manipulative persona can be incredibly deceptive. Just like narcissists, antisocials possess a powerful acting ability that allows them to manipulate and control their partners. However, this facade crumbles as the relationship progresses.
The core of an antisocial relationship revolves around power, control, and manipulation. The partner’s feelings and needs are disregarded as the antisocial prioritizes their own desires and wants over the victim’s. Verbal and emotional abuse are commonplace, often used to control and isolate the partner. Friendships may be sabotaged, leaving the partner feeling increasingly alone and dependent on the antisocial.
Antisocials often target partners with dependent or avoidant personality traits. These individuals may be more prone to submissiveness and less likely to leave an abusive relationship. As a result, this cycle of abuse becomes entrenched as the partner clings to hope, repeatedly falling for apologies and empty promises of change, which will only make their chance to escape from the perpetrator even more bleak.
Looking back, many partners of antisocials report red flags they initially overlooked. These may include a pattern of treating others poorly, a disregard for social norms, and a tendency to lie or manipulate on a regular basis. Some antisocials manipulatively shower their partner with affection while mistreating others, creating a confusing dynamic.
The antisocial’s impulsivity may create havoc in the relationship. Financial instability is a frequent issue, with job hopping, impulsive spending habits, and neglected bills becoming the norm. Substance abuse and blame games may also be present, further adding to the chaos and instability as the relationship worsens.
The longer an abusive relationship continues, the more challenging it becomes for the abused spouse to leave. Individuals with antisocial traits often exploit their partners, reducing their self-esteem, and making them feel like the source of the problems. Building self-confidence and seeking professional support from an expert like Dr. John B. Evans, PhD, the author of “Why You Do That,” are essential steps for healing and breaking free from the cycle of abuse.
“Why You Do That” by John B. Evans, Ph.D., LCSW, is a landmark book—a guide that will help you recognize and understand some of your basic personality traits. With prominent tips, strategies, expert guidance, real-time examples, and information, this book suggests an accurate and comprehensive self-awareness is essential, and will give you the self-control that allows you to choose who you will be in life. Moreover, this book may contribute to understanding among friends, family, and partners, and tackles multiple topics such as abuse, other relationship difficulties, personality styles and disorders, and past and present family functioning, ultimately having a great influence on our lives.
Breaking Free from the Manipulation
Leaving an abusive relationship is incredibly difficult, especially when dealing with an expert manipulator like an antisocial, sociopath, etc. A “Mr. Nice Guy” persona may surface from time to time, often filled with tears and promises, but it is a manipulation designed to keep the abused spouse from leaving the relationship. It is crucial to recognize this as a tactic to maintain control and prevent the partner from leaving.
For a more comprehensive understanding of abusive relationships and how they impact your life, check out the chapter “The Abusive Personality / Abusive Relationships” in the book “Why You Do That.” And remember that you are not alone. Order your copy here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CN52988M
Remember, you are not alone. Many resources are available to help victims of abuse. There is hope for a life free from fear and control. Order your copy of “Why You Do That” and you may contact the author, Dr. John B. Evans directly via his website Log Cabin Counseling: https://logcabincounseling.com